Monthly Archives: March 2012

On The Couch

When I finally calmed down
It was too late
The bruises
The hate
The look in your eye
I drove off
I came back
The door was still locked
I cried
And cried
And cried
Why?
I apologized
I begged
I pleaded
I felt dead
My eyes swollen shut
I laid there
Waiting
And waiting
For the door open
Picked the lock
You
Upset even more
I forgotten what I did to you
You reminded me
I laid there
Crying
On the floor
On top of my
Green woven robe
You begged
You pleaded
For me to leave
You asked me to sleep
On the couch
I went to
The couch
You said you still
Loved me
I cried again
And was almost asleep
You came and got me
And held me
You looked at me
And kissed my lips
You made me feel
Okay
You brought me back
To our bed
And asleep
We went

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How I write

Most people write with what they know. I only write with what is on my mind. Usually, when I am writing a poem, it’s actually going through my mind as I am playing a song. It has rhythm, beats, music. And I make it come alive in my head. My mind just goes to places when I write, and I dream.

I escape into another world, and sometimes it’s hard to come out of. These may be memories from the past, dreams about the future, or just something that is going on in my life right now…But the words I write, are twisted from what is or what could be the truth sometimes. Sometimes, I just write what I am feeling about that memory, or what I was feeling then.

Some feelings just stick with you. And you are paralyzed in that moment, until you can tell the exact truth. Some memories are blocked, and they come and go, but they portray hidden secrets that you don’t want anyone to know.

My secrets are invisible. My secrets can only be seen by me. You have to tear down my walls to see what I am seeing.

I’ve been fighting the urge to write a book. About what, exactly? Just memories that I have had…Just memories that carry on with me. I do not remember anything growing up until the age of 15. Where did the memories go before them? Why do I have them blocked? I have made up memories from what family has told me. I barely talk to them that much, and I know they tell me lies to make me feel better.

I am hidden in myself.

I am hidden into my lies.

The only one knows the truth is my half.

My half…

And yet again…this is just a poem…

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Breathe In…Breathe Out

I breathe in
Breathe out
My heart hurts
But it still beats for you
Even though you destroyed it
You caught my eye
long ago
You made me
Realize
That you were bad for me
I gave in
I lost
I thought you would change
For me
And yet you still ran from me
I heard your heart
I heard it sink
I made every moment
Last like it was the last
Beat
You were the one
You changed me
Destroyed me
Made me into
What you become
Nothing
Thought I
Could move on
Thought I
Could find someone new
But then there was
Always you
You would pull me
Aside
You would drag me
Away
Made it
More pain
I was happy
For a second
I was smiling
For that
Moment
Then you
Made me frown
I deleted you
Out of my life
Stop coming back
Because I
Do not want you
I do not want you

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Key of life

You sit there watching
As I stand here laughing
Keeping myself sane
As you unravel the truth
You keep your self well hidden
No one can see you
But I can
Your heart beats loudly
And the crowd calms down
Beautiful skies
In beautiful spring time
I walk my way to the floor
Listen to my voice
Listen to the crowd
You are gone to all of us
You kept around for awhile
Watched your family mourn your death
You faked us all
You come back into our lives
Now you serve your sentence well
Damage that cannot be fixed
Losing control of dreams
And reality
You watched them grow up
From a distance
And now that you are locked up
Your wife threw the key away
Stay stay
She becomes the ex
She remarried
And now she is happy
You betrayed her
Stay stay
There is no home for you
You pretend to live
The life you faked dead for
One day
Your daughter comes to visit
She holds her hands out
And shows you she’s expecting
Asks you if you love her
And you say no
On her mothers wishes
She turns away
And you tell her the truth
She looks at you
And gives you the key
The key of life.

I’ve decided….

I’ve decided I’m going to change this blog up. This will no longer be my personal blog, just what the name is…. The Sam Slam. I will be posting writings of my own and from other writers. I will be posting a link to my own personal blog for those who want to follow.
Let’s kick this off by a poem I wrote the other day..

The person who wonders,
Believes in the truth
The hope to move on will happen
Not knowing where to go
But the thought of almost being there,
Crosses the mind from time to time
The heart only feels what it wants to feel
Giving it away makes it feel so much better
Giving it to the right person
Makes it feel calm
The person who wonders is calm
Yet excited
Frightened at the same time
The thought of being at the right destination
It only scares so many
Hands shake
Legs tremble
Thoughts racing through the minds of those who wonder
Those who wonder are afraid of me
But what they do not know
I am afraid of them
They have no idea.

Now
The people who wonder
Cherish their lives
As I do not
My life stands still
A hole in my body
A piece missing
Not capable of moving forward
Not capable of moving backwards
Could I just be a ghost
The people that wonder
Do not notice me
They keep me out of the way
I only know
Where I will end up
Here
Alone
With no one to watch
Wonder away
….

2-17-2012

March Ninth

TheSamSlam

Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog. Views have gone down hill, and I am not so happy. It’s okay though, I write for myself, and for those who like to read what I write.

Since Wednesday, I have broke my pinky toe in my left foot. I pulled my shoulder out of place in my left side. I made Shepherd’s pie for the first time. I need to work on mashing my potatoes. It was really good. Pocket decided to tear paper towels everywhere in the bathroom.

I also went shopping on Wednesday, and had to go back on Thursday. I have really good taste in clothes I think. I just need to update my hair.

Other than the updates in my life, I would like to share something I came across that made me look twice. Most people think that adding 7 years to their dogs/cats life makes them how old they are. Is that true? Veterinarians say that if you use their way, you would understand how old they really are.

A Dog’s Life
If you have a 1-year old dog, he is 12-years old in human life. If you have a 2-year dog, he is 24-years in human life. And after the 2nd year, add 4-years every year after. (3d-28human, 4d-32 years…etc)

A Cat’s Life
If you have a 1-year old cat, he is 15-years old in human life. If you have a 2-year old cat, he is 24-years in human life. Use the same formula for the dog lifespan for the catlife span and you have your correct Cat’s age.

To see this full post, please click here.

Today is also Teacher’s Day. Thank you to all the teachers for making our children lives a better one.  (Yesterday in some states)
An Apple for an Apple

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March Madness Begins…

THESAMSLAM

From Katy Perry asking to lie, to Apple releasing the “new” iPad today, what in the world is going on?

Past few days, we have celebrated the 100th birthday of our childhood favorite cookie. The OREO. Happy Birthday Oreo. In awesomeness, I’ll eat an oreo cookie.


Katy Perry’s new song Part of Me -2012
Katy told MTV.com that she refused to lie about this song. She was upset that her coworkers advised her to say that she wrote this a couple weeks ago. I know when I first heard this song, coming from the Grammy’s, I was amazed how she came with this song after the break up. She said in the interview that she wasn’t going to be a douche bag and tell people the lies. She wrote the song a few years ago.
See the whole story here.

New Band To US?
The Wanted – Which is a great band from the UK. They emerged in 2009, and now a big hit in the US. From their single “Glad You Came” that was played in the most recent episode of Glee, is what making them so hot.
With me being such a big Glee fan, I had to know who actually made this song. When I first heard it, I was like “WHO THE HECK IS THIS BAND?” I love this song! UK, please bring us some more amazing singers. The only question is…are they a boy band?
Their newest video is questioning who the best dancer in the group is. Who do you think is the best dancer?
See the video here.

Apple today released the ‘new’ iPad. I sat on the couch watching with Tony the news. Tony watched one of his tech vloggers, while I read updates from bloggers. We currently have an iPad 2. We will not be updating to the ‘new’ iPad.
To see all the specs and what’s new, please click here.

Does calorie counting work? Please leave me with a comment below!

Show me that you love me, and like this!

Always,
Samantha

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This week…

I hope you like the update to the blog. I felt that it needed some change. Some more of me put into it. Not completely there yet, though.

It looks like most states are heading for Spring season. With me being on the phone all day, I hear how it never rains in California, people in Arizona complain about rocks, and men in Texas hit on me. And I’m just this because, every day, this happens.

Last week, there were a few storms. People died from these storms. It’s sad to hear these things. That’s why I do not like to watch the news. I watch CNN here and there to see what is going on with the republican race.

Topics of this week: 5 Second Rule

We all use the 5 second rule at one point in our life. Why did we stop, or don’t we stop? It if hasn’t killed it yet, will it do it the next time?
As I do a lot of reading of articles over the week, I noticed this topic came up a lot. If you drop something on the floor, even for that just one moment, it is contaminated with what is there or what could be there. You might not even know that you are eating something that could be contaminated because you are so clean. That’s not the case. If you drop something, just pick it up and throw it away. It’s not worth getting sick or even causing something that could make you die.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

iPad 3:

The iPad 2 dropped prices last week, as the announcement of the iPad 3 comes out this week. What should we expect? In my opinion, I expect thinner, nicer camera, and actual headphones that come with the iPad. That’s what I would like.

Obese Guy Asks for Help
Tony just showed me this video. What will you do?

This guy wants to lose weight, but has tried EVERYTHING. Please help spread the word.

 

Always,
Samantha

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Day 3 && Day 4

Day 3:

I spent most of my Saturday sleeping and working. Nothing really happened, but I wrote a couple new poems at work. I just happened I left them at work. I’m always forgetting that little book.

Day 4:

I’m sitting here at home, instead of work because I’m sick. Today is a short post like yesterday because I have nothing to talk about. Last night, Tony and I decided we are going to start calorie counting. I have been doing this for awhile now, and it’s so hard to keep up with it. Him and I decided that this is what we are going to do. The person who loses the weight within the next 3 months, will have to pay for the summer vacation. It sounds like a good deal. He disagreed to that, because he knows I’ll be the one to lose the most weight. What do you think? Do men or women lose weight faster?

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Day 2

As I’m sitting at work, I am alone here. I feel alone. Tony works here to, but on the second floor. I need someone to talk to.
It’s boring here after 8pm. It gets slow and I get maybe, 4 calls till I get off. I keep myself away from the others because they are in their own group.
Today, I had to get up and pay rent. I wasn’t feeling well because I didn’t get much sleep. Tony told me he didn’t go to bed until seven a.m. and he was sick all night. I felt bad.
We went grocery shopping last night after work. I got a lot for the next few weeks to last. If it doesn’t, I will be upset.
Because I am catholic, maybe I don’t follow all religious beliefs that the Catholics do, but since I was a young girl, I do not eat meat on Fridays during lent. Who are you to judge me?
Today was beautiful.
I hope tomorrow is well.
I will post my weekly post tonight when I get home.

Always,

image

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